fee fie fo fum

There are few things that give me as much joy in life as looking at the clock in the morning and realizing that I still have more time to sleep. This morning I was so unbelievably happy when I looked at my clock and saw that I still had a hour before I had to get up. Really though, I don't think I've been that happy in a long time. I don't know if that means my life is sad, or that I just love sleeping. Alot. The other reason I like knowing I have more time to sleep is that I always dream some more in that little space of time. And the dreams that I have a re always super weird early in the morning. I don't remember what it was about, but I do remember feeling a sense of loss when I had to wake up and it was over. I'm always sad when my dreams end, becasue I know that I'll never dream it again

600 miles later

I determined today that I don't think enough. Not that I don't think before I act or speak, but that when I'm alone not doing anything I don't think about things. So I tried to think more, but I don't know if I liked all that active thinking. I'm definitely not cut out to be a philosopher, or an interesting person for that matter. So while I was driving from California to Utah today I was trying to pay attention to what I was thinking with some disturbing results. I was trying to think of what could make my drive through the Nevada desert more interesting when I thought that if I could talk to all the other people driving on the road I might not want to drive my car off the side of the road or turn the car around and give up. But, what would we talk about?

i always want to know where everyone else on the freeway is going. I would ask them where they are going. I would ask them why they were going there and if they were excited to go or not. I would ask them if there was anyone waiting for them. I would ask them what they think about while driving. I would ask them why they bought their car, and why that particular color. I would ask the how they can drive so fast without feeling paranoid about getting a ticket. All of these thoughts and ideas were at the beginning of my drive, by the eighth or ninth hour of my solo drive all I could think was that my butt hurt how much I hate those signs telling you how many miles till you get to your destination. There are always way more miles on there than you think you can bear. I also realized that in my mind semi trucks on the freeway are large animals that you have no control over. They do what they want and I just accept it as unchangeable movement of the universe. Im my mind they are like giant cows.

trick tricky

Last night I dreamt that I went to Prom. The Prom it turned out was being held in a church and alot of the people from my high school were there. For some reason my mom was playing the organ for this dance and I was hanging out with her and one friend avoiding the partying that was going on below at the dance. I was dressed fancier than everyone else and inexplicably looked more like Selina Gomez than myself. Non of the people that were there from my high school and that I grew up with would talk to me or really acknowledge me. Then my 18 month nephew was there and I had to change his diaper. So in looking for a bathroom I came across a classroom where all these boys were playing poker and smoking. When I finally found the bathroom it was this huge communal style bathroom with showers and everything, but I couldn't find a changing table anywhere. Why? I don't know.

greasy spoon

I watched a movie a few days a go that takes place in Greece. It was a generic but entertaining romantic comedy in which a woman gets her mojo back after hooking up with a hot Greek man. Well the next night I had a dream that I was the lady from the movie at the beach in Greece. Then for reasons that are known only to the subconscious, a giant tsunami appeared and was headed straight for my beautiful beach and idyllic little town. I don't remember how I managed to survive. I think I climbed up to some higher ground and watched people get swept away by the oncoming water. I don't know what this means. Freud would probably say, well actually I have no idea what Freud would say, all I know is that it would involve some secret longing on my part. It'll just have to go being a secret then.