slobber slobber drool drool cry

It must be hard to be a baby. People hardly ever let you do what you want to do. They think you're cute, but they sure as heck will not let you wipe your drooly face all over their pants or play in the dishwasher or the toilet. You're just curious after all. And people are always picking you up and carrying you around. You never said "Hey could you please pick me up and carry me into the kitchen with you?" The baby never says any such thing. The baby never says "Please feed me cheerios and a full turkey dinner blended into something called 'baby food'."

Poor baby. Poor, poor baby indeed.